giving up on me

half way through my current department...
after that i ll be free
i want to go on a lonnnnggg break
vacation or backpacking somewhere
just thinking about it makes me grin like a cheshire cat
after all the hardwork
never getting the cuti i wanted
missing on reunions & weddings
i m finally gonna have my own post ho vacation ^^

on another fact that makes me grin
i think specialist J gave up on me d..haha
i guess i m just too dumb & not interested in the subject to salvage
how do i know??
the most obvious part is specialist J reduced ehh wait...stop bombarding me pop quiz questions d..i m sooooo relieved..hohohho
also specialist J always has a grin on the face which to me looks freaking fake
but now around me specialist J looks what i think is a reflection of me
like this --> (~____________~) aka blank face
lol
but not all the time
i guess it's habitual for specialist J to break into the fake grin
because today when specialist J saw that a young patient-post MVA with DAI-on trachy is from around the same area as we are
specialist J grin & look at me who was writing in the BHT and said "hahaha...he's from our territory...should we transfer him to our territory"
MOs were confused la of course
inside joke
ok whatever
it just freaks me out specialist J actually remembers where i live....damn

so just have to tahan till february
hopefully everything goes well
huhu~~

wish me luck peeps..
God plz help me

food chain

congrats to all my friends...

finally M.O after 2 years

after this will be
S/B all you peeps
case & progress noted
signed by houseman

a step up in the hospital hierarchy

but please don't forget you were once a houseman k..
and don't be mean to ppl like me..

haishh
working like a dog
dunno if i' ll ever be able to step up
with the SBPA
dunno if i ll be kick out of government service without full registration
than what will i do..
any suggestions..
heard growing mushrooms is good business this days..haha

oo well all i can do is pray~~

i miss my peeps
p/s :- plz don't merajuk with me too long~~

sweet escape

the specialist oncall today (he's the one who is quite fatherly, on & off forgetting my simple name & looks super stress during oncalls...LOL) asked if i was going to our department annual night

the blur me obviously did not even know it exist..
so when he ask me to go
i automatically said yes...
the problem is being where i am now..at lowest of the food chain saying yes to my superiors comes just like a reflex...but just work related laa k ppl~~

5 minutes later i was already regretting

enough with having to fake smile my way everyday at work

trying to force my self socializing with them while trying to eat something supposedly delicious

i have already loss my appetite thinking about it..huhu

thank God this specialist if quite fatherly
if it was the other specialist i m sure i can't wiggle my way out..huhu
bravely i said i can't got
he wanted a valid reason
i didn't get to answer when he asked "u going out with ur boyfren ke??"
and on reflex again i said yes..haha

whatever...as long as i got to escape that night....

i m amazed at how i m gaining weight despite losing appetite at the thought of them
my metabolism must be running slower...
damn i hate getting old...
need to start swimming
one day~~~

disgusting feeling

i have mentioned before

and i will mention again...

how is it possible that free balanja-ed delicious food can taste disgusting to my tastebuds??

well my friends

apparently it's possible

simple common sense & logic

when you dislike someone or something

anything that someone touch or gives becomes horrible

i m serioussss....

example :-

i puke out the food the superior i dislike belanja-ed which i had to force myself to down after course into the toilet bowl of my home...
and oddly...the after feeling was surprisingly surreal~~~

ooo i just saw my schedule
i think i might get cyclical vomiting on Monday & Tuesday
yeay~~~

p/s :- life is short...do try to make the best of it..RIP SK...

self note :- life is short...don't let others ruin it for you!!! hwaiting to self!!

not appreciated

helloo to the royal greatness

we are housemans

in a learning process

and working our hardest to do the best for patient

but

if we are not good enough for the great MO

we will be more than happy to let them oncall alone

thank you...

post night shift day 1

pre night shift day 2

i should rest & sleep~~~

what?

hello people..

don't you think it's just plain annoying to be asked stupid questions

for example asking a houseman in the particular ward at around ~9pm if they are night shift duty
duh would anyone be stupid enough to be at their working place when they don't have to

common sense laaa...

or asking the next morning if they were postnight & in the end not letting go back early pon...baek x payah tanyaaaa >.<

or what time the houseman went back that postnight shift....like it would really matter

and of course other zillion stupid questions i m to annoyed to answer but had to just because they are my superiors *thank God there are such things as 3 ply face mask to cover the annoyed face*


ok even the question i m asking at the beginning of the post is stupid...

i must be badly affected..

blerghh

midas touch

i m depressed...

i guess anyone reading my entries could sense that

but last night

i was blessed with the appearance of my favourite specialist whom i had not seen so long
apparently he knew i was in the current department
yeah he saw me a few times in O.T & doing pre op
but we never chat much..........
apparently i was too busy..huhu

until last night........
it was nice
i don't know how he does it
but it made me smile while going to sleep last night
not that i was able to
got disturb for low BP impending collapse while happily grinning in bed..hihi
only had 1 hour sleep until am r/v

but thanx to favourite specialist
i was energetically resuscitating patient
my MO even ask , "ehh u x penat ke ??"
me , " mmm just holding on..hehe"

i miss favourite specialist.............
i wish i get to feel the magic every now and than
especially when i m upset~~~

LOL

bubblepop

how can free food ever be not good

especially when it's the boss who belanja

free food are always good

but of course for some weird reason

the bratty subordinate decide not to touch them

until was reminded a few times

in the end had to eat dengan hati not ikhlas......

ungrateful subordinate even unintentionally ignored boss

well not really

subordinate just doing job...nanti orang ckp MIA plk

hohoh

but not like boss gonna realize pon kan...

subordinate is just another person...a useless one plk tu

of course guilty conscience comes knocking at the end of the day

damage is done

all that can be done is damage control

ok

grow up brat..

thank you

bye

disposable

once upon a time during teaching session....

specialist on-call points to me

"come nearer...i m not going to eat you..."

yeah right

that's what you say

appearance can be deceiving....

anything which looks benign on the outside could be malignant on the inside
and vice versa.....

i m just saying

but that doesn't mean i m going to trust them
because they don't deserve it
much less need it

after all
most of us are nothing to them
just some useless additions to their team
why request for more than?
just let me go

please forgive me
this is the miserable person talking~

poker face

ok i was wrong

there is no such thing as perfection in a person

and God is fair to everyone

each and everyone of us have our fatal flaw....

i can't believe i fell for the oldest trick in the book of flaw

hypocrite......2 face

something i hate the most

ooo how well some potray the nice, smart & helpful person

when in all truth they might backstab you or worse.........

no wonder that particular boss
with all the smiley , helpful & gentleman attitude
would always some how attack me with questions..huhu
when the fact is that boss never wanted too many ho in the dept *not that i requested to be pon here..cries*
i don't know if that particular boss intention is to teach me * because he is trying to teach me*
or just make me more depress being in the department
but i don't trust him....
he already made my friend sad
and i have a feeling i will be next..damn

ooo well
i can't always have my way
been the department pet for too long
will have to learn to protect myself soon

useless

as a houseman
i know i might be lacking on the knowledge part
because i m lazy i know...

but i try to compensate it all by trying to get experience
helping others.......

yeah maybe there are times my work is a bit messy & slip shot
but never have i been said i have poor working ethics
being told that
makes me feel i m useless

i m a lil bit blur and slow compared to others
but i m trying my best to cope T.T

the current department i m in is a new thing for me

though i didn't want it in the first place as i knew i have no confidence
i try to believe it's God will for me......

but how come upto this day i m still having second thoughts
A&E sounds a lot better
though its all hard work
i feel i ll be more useful
and maybe
happier~~~

but the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence..haishh

some people have all the luck

God is too generous to some people........

because if not

there wouldn't be some people who are not only gifted in brains
but also blessed with good looks
and goddamn HUGE hearts..........

but i guess that's why God made them a rare species

and married

or taken...

lucky them

damn..........

at least i was lucky enough to be allowed to go back home early just because he thinks it's dangerous for cute girls to travel back home alone at night..hihih

of course the o.t being shut down for maintanance is another factor..LOL

but have to study harder laaa..
he makes me feel stupid everyday..haishh

mask

alone

in Palliative care Unit

life sucks

i m a fake

so that things go my way

i hate it

being fake

but it makes life easier

and i hate it

especially unknown callers/texters

never introduce self

act as if they know me

WTH

go away la~~

sleep

is still the best

might as well quit housemanship and become a housewife

hello you
you won't be reading this but damn i can't keep this to myself

since working with you
my life is shit
somehow MO's think we are BFF
you think we are BFF
i was trying to be nice
but after a while
it gets tiring
to always clean up your sampahs
to get screwed because you just refuse to present your own cases & when it's full of sampah plans which some you didn't even carry out

as a 6th poster aren't you supposed to be the one with more experience than me
and yet
i have to do most of your procedures even something as stupid as blood taking
all cause you are in your own world trying to sort out stupid things or you are just making up stupid reasons just so i would do it for you
yeah so you have a kid who is not staying with you
and you miss your kid so much
but please don't be distracted and endanger people's lives or bring unnecessary trouble for others

and she is so damn cekap to push work to other people and make them in trouble..B****

arghhhh...i just can't stand her
wondering how she will ever be an M.O
deluded big boss wants her to be anaest M.O while her beloved husband will become surgical M.O..
woww...wouldn't be surprised if mortality hikes up..huhu

lost soul

5 postings ago.........

i was a super extra blurry, bully-able, dumb houseman
nothing really prepared me for housemanship

my fault really
i was almost always in my own world of fangirlism of Kpop/Kdrama/Jpop/Jdrama/and anything that is happy,rainbow,cakes,ice cream & candies
i was too-lazy-to-the ass medical school student passing exams miraculously by last minute studies, dumb luck & all thanks to the Almighty power above
no working experience what-so-ever before
a potato-couch by nature

nothing prepared me to run around the hospital
always on my feet
always on the run
always trying my best to absorb all the knowledge i should have as a medical student but was too lazy to do it then
always trying to get on the good side of others..
always kena marah by MO
always the one in trouble

haishh
come to think of it
it was a very tiring 1 st posting
and a terrible one too

but somehow after that
everything seem to speed up
and here i am
finishing my housemanship
with no idea what-so-ever what i want to do

the only things i had in mind are
i never want to do oncalls
nor do i want to work weekends
which leaves me with only K.K as an option..hahah
but don't like to see too many patients at clinic either..
i m lost
but it's not like we will really get what we applied right
hands up
i m lost
i duno what to do
can i just leave all to God's will..haha
p/s:- damn no more playing department pet after this..O-o

yum yum

mee goreng sotong + fresh air kelapa + air kelapa float


finger licking good...
damn i need 2nd rounds

and double damn i m getting fatter..haha

halyu star?

SPOTTED...G-D AT GURNEY???

NOT!!
he is just some wannabe dressed as GD..haha

Gurney plaza was promoting Amazing Korea from 9-13 September 2011
lucky for me, i decided to drop by Gurney today
ok so there is some korean food being promoted..mmm
but there were "kiddies" dressed stylishy k-pop everywhere
even saw GD wannabe at the escalator
still it didn't hit me there would be some talent show
i was chewing down some curly fries , drinking A&W root beer flaot & listening to Miss A 's Goodbye Baby Goodbye
when i saw a bunch of girls on tv screen dancing to a suspiciously Miss A's Goodbye Baby goodbye routine....

overall it was actually good
better than the ones shown on Hitz fm kpop talent show
way to go Penangite ^^
the best performance so far was by GD wannabe and "big bang"
it was awesome
2 thumbs up to them
no video performance by me
i was unfortunately blocked by other excited k-pop fans
and was looking in between their armpit & heads for ~~15min before i had a decent view..haha

but damn i feel old...bluerghh
missing those days with my fangirls >.<

p/s was wondering if any of my girlies still have our photos at dbsk concert??

post grand ward rounds & mortality review

FudGEeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!

i was saying the F word more than 100x today.........

honestly

i m fed up being on the chopping board......................
the sacrificial lamb
the scapegoat

how come i m always the only one kena?????

plz lemme be invisible here

God plz have mercy on me

pre grand ward rounds

studyinggggggggg...............

yes i m studyingggggggggg............

trying to study

i need coffee.......

on second thoughts if i drink i won't be able to sleep later

kings cream puff doesn't taste as nice as patisfrance

i m getting fat

damn

stress

fugde

i m post call

so i m sleepy

so i m a little grumpy

and suddenly had to go HBM clinic
although my GCS already dropping

oooo and yeay
although i went to HBM a lot of time
most of the time i tumpang ppl
so this time i was lost...LOL
way to go bimbo

and the annoying balding MO i dislike
he just had to add work for me
asking me to prepare mortality review in 1 day
just my "luck" that i was in HBM when balding MO decided to ask me to prepare that
i swear he is just making my life difficult because i talked back at him the other day
and dunno how la want to trace old notes & CT scan stuff
had to bother a friend to help me..huhu

and i already have homework given by BIG BOSS i have to present

damn what is wrong with everyone
do i look that free to them...

there are 17 other houseman in the department
please take your pick
i m sick of presenting 3 x all in the duration of 2 weeks

WTF some ppl who are nearly finishing pun never presented....
yeahhh WTF!!!!!

better start the freaking mortality review before i pop a vein

i m gonna die thanx to the stupid mortality review..yeay~~~ (yeah rite)

post mortem

post call

i hate it when you just did every freaking thing possible

in the end they just ended up dying

but we are just human...i know

i m just gonna sleep the whole day...bye bye world

yeay tomorrow cuti and no grand ward rounds ^^

yeahhh

who invented heritage day

i salute them

i love being in Penang ^^

finally transformers

finally after so many times postponing to watch transformers
i got to watch it todayy...wohohoho~~~

got good seats plk tuu...despite buying it super late
thanx to the cool ticket seller machaaa...
and of course my retarded friends repo skills...

*retarded friend in action after successfully getting tickets*

so i m NOT sad anymore i passed the chance of getting 2 free tickets for transformers premiers from my MO.............
i was merely trying to stand up for myself that i m NOT ghei...huhuhu
although i know that MO was simply teasing me...haishh~~~~

my verdict:-
although the story line kinda sucks
i still think the robots are cool ^^
don't mind me laaa cause i m simply superficial like that..haha
and ooo megan fox is not in transformers 3
not that i care
i m not ghei
like i said
i just like the kewl robot

and megatron reminds me of the pityful 64 year old uncle who was admitted in surgical ward 1 month back for maggots infestation of scalp
the only difference is that megatron could picit the maggot-like-robots infesting half of his head
while poor maggot-tron pakcik had poor GCS to even care the different stages & size of maggot playing around his head despite turpentine which those maggots are somehow ressistant to..mmmm~~~

anyway...
today is my youngest sis bday
cant i believe i ditch going home to celebrate to watch transformers...gomen gomen
but i know she knows i lap her a lot....hugs hugs muahs muahs ^^
so OTANJYOUBI OMEDETOU lil sis ^^OMG i still can't believe she is 21..huhu
my memory of her will always be the small weird skinny kid with black straight hair tied in ponytail *which i like to pull* wearing dark blue pinnafore & white sparx shoes..hahah

how time flies

damn i feel old...bluek~~~

post call with no PM off sucks

do not mess with me when i m.....

a. HUNGRY b. SLEEPY / SLEEP DEPRIVED / POST BAD CALL C. PMS

sometimes i just don't care who they are

i ll just.......... SNAP!

but i m NOT sorry i talk back to you....you balding MO whom i hate

thanks to you...this is my 1st time talking back to MO

and i don't even care if you think i have attitude problem
i bet all others who knew me won't believe you either...damn balding MO

urghhhh
whatever
no use thinking too much of the balding MO
it's just a waste of my neurons
i m gonna eat my double choc cake + brownies to get high~~~

time bomb...tick tock

i freaking hate you

you balding MO...........

damn i hate this posting

every single part of it

ladies fingers

been fascinated in this lately

too bad i can't do it
sebab :-
1. nnt susa nk solat
2. x seswai for brannula setting, CVP, ABG, I&D , abdominal & rectal examination...everything under the sun and of course OT
3. BIG BOSS will automatically give me the plus 3...damn

oo well
i ll just admire them

btw i m NOT that rajin anyway

change

Change...
we don’t like it,
we fear it,
but we can't stop it from coming.
We either adapt to change or we get left behind.
And it hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn’t is lying.
But here's the truth...the more things change, the more they stay the same.
And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good.
Oh, sometimes, change is...everything.

Dr Meredith Grey

blerghh~~~

i hate on calls

can i not do them

tQ~

*tries to kick myself and falls pathetically on the floor face down*

purple

i almost cried today because this particular specialist kept asking me questions
and that i felt soooo bad that i couldn't answer
i noticed that he would always attack that particular person once he knows is vulnerable...huhuh
damn it's all my fault anyway for being lazy.............

than the usually nice radiologist refused to give me a CT urgent for a patient which the uro PGH MO ask me to get just because i don't know the indication and that when i called the stupid uro MO again...i could tell he obviously didn't know why also and he gave me a stupid reason because they need imaging....i could bloody well say even xray is imaging....huhu

but in the end
it was kinda a good day
esp when fav specialist is around to make it better ^^
Gods knows how laaa fav specialist would always somehow pop into my view when i m sad
somehow i m always wearing purple and almost cryingwhen i meet fav specialist
hahah.......

but tomorrow is grand ward rounds again...damn it~

e m o

the thing that is worse than people thinking you are a nurse instead of a doctor

is of course the ward nurse thinking they are high and mighty.....better than mbbs or m.d holder

yes they are more experienced
but that is because they have been there for gazzilion years
i would have been super genius if i had stayed like that

that includes certain sisters & matrons
some are just freaking annoying
i guess they are just too free to find other peoples mistakes

but please take note NOT all nurses are like that
some are really nice
and i really do like them

it's just those few who think just because they are on the HOD / specialist good side by becoming their spies & no 1 complainer about houseman......
that they are way above everyone else

for now i can't do anything
the Boss of the posting i m currently in somehow trust the nurses better than H.o
not like my previous boss who would definitely back up their H.o

and of course they trust me more..hihi
damn i miss all my previous postings specialist.......p/s :- i think there s something wrong with my head.......

hidup yang bagaikan nyawa nyawa ikan

stress level on D1 of surgical posting 100%

currently --> 200% and counting.............

i would be lucky if i don't burst any of my cerebral blood vessels within the 4 months

until then~~~

thank God ! !

surprisingly

i survived the 2nd grand ward rounds

woot woot

throws confetti~~~
but things will change next month when i change to the dragons ward kot...haishh

* dies *

spoilt

shamelessly

i have to admit

i m...

the centre of attraction of my familythe pet of my friends & colleagues

the little sis to the MOs & specialists (in other postings)

resulting me being a little pampered brat~~~

too bad here in surgical i don't really have that privilege yet

living in fear every second of time
for making any mistakes or something being missed out
for being blank & mute when the specialist questions you and you get too nervous to answer
and of course the ultimate extension of 3 months

f ***
i m starting to swear again
something i ll do when i m too stress

s***
i can't think anymore

damn~

somethings are just not meant to be

from my elder sis blog-->

"A cat fell in love with a fish in a glass, it broke the glass and the fish died after leaving the water."
"The cat realized that it is not necessary to be with the person he loves."

love is simple...i wish~~

Forgot how it started

Maybe it was just a feeling I had towards you
Suddenly realized that I had already deeply fallen in love with you
It was that simple

I don't care if I love until the earth and the skies darken
Can't choose between right and wrong
No regret, following love night and day
That crazy person is me

I love you, can't stop loving you baby, say you love me too
I love you, I'll never be willing, baby, to lose you

I can't be any happier
As long we can be together, I'll do anything
Although the world keeps changing
Use the sincerest love to let love become simple

I love you, I'm always here baby, always loving you
I love you (yes I do) I will never give up my right to love you
If you're still a bit confused, oh no, please listen to my heart
Listen to me say I love you (yes I do) I love you

i miss you tooo~~~

they always say
the grass is always greener on the other side

i didn't want to be extended in ortho
and so here i am in surgical hell

i m freaking scared i can't articulate a simple sentence

it's all in my head i keep telling myself

have to get over this stat!!

before grandward rounds........................this thursday

in hell

on my 1st day Mr I said to me " did anyone tell you here the posting is 4+3"

Mr Y would not listen to my presentation........he doesn't trust me...........he thinks i m stupid ... huhuhu

Mr F made everyone feel stupid

Mr N's wrath is yet to be seen...damn

i miss my previous specialist

Mr W in particular ^^

btw he called me today
although i m no longer an ortho h.o
because there was no one to help him with his special patients
he had to ask where i saved the documents and stuff
i was surprised...............
and it made me feel special
too bad i was stuck in hell to help him

btw i was shocked that many of the female houseman thinks he looks good too...LOL
he may have the mask like face
but when he smilessssss..........it could make your heart do acrobatic flips
or maybe it's just me

but yes i miss him too =P

too bad he is married..
and most prolly with kids.........

but he made my day by calling
even if it's just to ask for a favor
you made me smile ^^

for that thanks ^^

goodbye

from m****

we acknowledge your request to move. Thank you for being with M**** and we hope to serve you again in the future.

rasa sedey la plk bl baca nih as i really like the service...ok whats done is done...hope for the best~~~

missing me???

i had last weekend off from work

never thought i would regret not coming to work

why???

because i miss the chance to eat breakfast with my periphery gang & favourite specialist

he even taught one of my friend how to use chopsticks...damnnnn...

but at least he remembered me & noticed i was not around

he actually ask my gang where was i >.<

i had a huge grin after hearing that...LOL

too bad he was not around today because of MOA this week

i think i m gonna miss ortho....hihi

it's complicated

getting interested with married guys is not good

oh no........

this is bad

i m going to die a spinster............

letting go

i already have a family who loves me for who i am

for that i am very very thankful..........

i also have nice colleagues whom i can lean on at times of needs.......

and MOs who are brotherly to me........

but still how come i miss my dear friends from college so much......
i don't see them anymore
rarely call & message
sometimes even forgetting each others birthday......

all i see are pics from fb
them enjoying life...........

and me being miserable here...huhuh

should let go now
after all my brother told me once that at my age, i ll start seeing one by one of my friends starting a new life.....

time to be grateful for what i have now

but i ll always treasure those memories

the alkisah of budak kurang kaseh sayang stops here......
bye~~~

pet

the monotonous and expressionless specialist knows my name

wow

that was a revelation

never thought he would care for a houseman's name
because i have never heard him call houseman by their names

though some of my friends like to joke i m his isteri tiri
just because he would always call me to do wound dressing with him, do ward rounds with him,help him STO & do dressing for his special patients,become his secretary
and the fact my colleagues saw him smile & laugh the most
breaking his emotionless face when i presented for CME
which i kinda almost often see
i guess because i m plain clumsy & he was just plain nice...actually

i learned to accept that it's houseman job to do this donkey jobs sometimes
no matter who you are
so never thought he would actually know my name

but i kinda like it
cause he is nice

but i don;t like high expectations...................

monster inside

hello i am the current ortho houseman chief

wishing to AOR discharge myself from my duties every single day

it s bad enough the stress with normal work

and i have to add all the stress of fellow housemans complaining & being not happy about their call list and stuff

the stress of MO complaining about the houseman oncall combination....
like laaa i m doing it based on their list
it s totally ramdom k!

the stress of having to chase houseman down to clinic every freaking day...
just because i can't stand MOs nagging me about houseman whereabouts & the huge mountain of folders...
well the clinic has most definitely become clinic houseman instead..huhu

OMG the list goes on
all the merepek-ness of the world

those i don't even give a damn before

but right now i have to serabut my kepala

yes

how i wish i can AOR discharge myself

-the end-

we are satu malaysia

first impression

average size
malay girl
wearing tudung
yeah so i have a lil bit of sepet eyes
and a lil fairer skin than normal malays (my brother thinks he has a vampire for a sister..bluek)

does not make me a chinese who convert to muslim
or a mix of cilayu or melana or melayu cina
aiyooo i could be pure malay laaa
don't act so surprise
we are after all 1 malaysia maaaaaa....

but i guess it does gives me the advantage of being flexible in any racial group
i m of course ok with the malays because i am one
i m ok with the chinese because i m a pseudo with an amoi for a bestfriend
i m ok with the indians because i m from a twinning programme college which is India based
which makes me as my specialist say the one malaysia girl...LOL

which also makes me the odd one out at lunch outings
either the only malay girl with 4 chinamans
or the only malay girl in a group of pretty indian girls

so..
one malaysians
lets speak something that all of us can understand k

peace to all~~

The Lazy Song

yeah i love weekend coz i don't feel like doing anything...lallalalal

otoke?

omg omg
i m going to be the new chief for my current posting
how laaaaaaaa????
even my M.O said
F u have to be firm ok don't kena buli...
LOL
never thought it was that obvious..haha

thinking of it gives me chills and rigors
omg omg
how laaaaaa???
*panic attacks *

ok that is one of the reason why i m scared to be chief

1. i freaking have panic attacks !!!

others are...

2. i m buli-able...nuff said

3. i m lazy

4. i like being undercover ---> than happily get out of the posting

5. i hate having to deal with other people's prob & cleaning up their mess..haishh

6. i hate being the centre of attraction

7. i hate thinking

8. i can't scold

9. i don't have the confidence

10. i think ppl think i m too easy...
they drink from my cup,
scoop out soup from my soup bowl,
eat cake from the same plate
talk to me nonsense stuff
and etc. which i rather not say
all without my permission
yeah i know they think i m cool *hohoh*
but i m still a girl ok...haishhhh

ok 10 reasons...
i m freaking out
should i just reject this job..LOL

on random view...
being gossip about is not fun...esp if it's with someone you don't really have any feeling for
too bad this posting has too many gossip girls and boys..
too bad i m one of them..eh wait no
i m the matchmaker..hehe

another success in the making..maybe?
hihihi

i could get rich doing this...
ooo but please....matchmaking the matchmaker...i don't think so~~

nuff said

a lot of love is in the air
a few couples in the making..thnx to urs truly
some are getting married...
too bad i can't go...

anyway
i don't think that particular friend who is getting married this weekend is gonna read this
but if she does...
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
MAY U BE BLESS WITH HAPPINESS OK~
alrite
that's all
need to go back to pulling hair on the current situation
till than...

i dont care~

lately i have developed a new talent

tuning out M.O s nagging...

masuk telinga kanan klua telinga kiri

very very useful.....

took me long enough to develop it..hehe

now i only take 1% of the nagging

and that 1% i hope will help me improve myself...

who cares about the other things

as long as i do my work
patients get well
i get paid
i go home,eat,sleep,watch TV & play with my laptop
i m happy enough..i guess~

hopefully this will continue until surgical
i really need this immunity..huhu

p/s lots of ppl getting married this days...dunno which one to go to...aaa when is mine anyway..haha

chajatda

i finally found it

Alice in Wonderland

and

Alice through a Looking Glass Illustration book ^^

best of all
both at a price of 35% discount at kinokuniya

though it may not be as nicely illustrated as my childhood London based Alice in the Wonderland book that God knows where it went to..
prolly to the old news paper uncle because it was worn out by the time it went to my youngest sister >.<

so anyway
besides the fact it was modernly illustrated
it's still an Alice illustration book..huhu
and i love it

was reading it instead of my ortho books...haishh
but it really frees your mind
and was a nice change

i miss those days when i can just sit and relax reading lots of storybooks
this days all i want to do is sleep when i have time...

maybe i should just chase after a white rabbit
who knows i might fall into a rabbits hole into a wonderland~~

white day

white is cool..heheh
i loikeee~

but obviously not all are suitable

some would look lyk pakcik tua..ohoho

nway they look kewl ^^

dream high a chance to fly high...yeah

my mood elevator ^^
dedicated to those going through hard times (like i do)
fight-o !!!



btw i m jealous of those fan who are got to see this flash mob
i wanna go korea too >.<


but for now i ll just dream high of korea 1st...
yeah~~

little girl i am NOT

just because i m a girl & somewhat look young hohoh perasan sendiri...but thats waht my MO say too

DOES NOT MEAN I M A NURSE!!!!

ok?

understood???

of course not...some ignorant people out there just refuse to get it or acknowledge it..damn it..

stupid people...

i don't really have anything against the nurses
some are nice & i like them

but i didn't waste 5 freaking years studying mbbs to get called a nurse

and some stupid people just can't believe i m a full fledge doctor just because of the way i look...*geram*
yeah they are hooligans who get into a drunken bar fight causing me to wake up in the middle of the freaking night / early morning to clerk , T&S freaking big laceration wounds all over & prepare patient for op
after all that had the guts to say
u betul doktor keee??? bukan pelatih???
u nampak muda dari i....betol kee??
even after reading my name tag
stupid a**

luckily my MO pulled me aside to ignore them
before i did anything stupid
please laaa don't la piss anyone who don't have enough sleep~~

all in all it ended well
morning pass over was OK
i have a feeling my H.O.D is being soft on me
i didn't get scolding & any high tech questions like my other colleagues who pass over cases
he just joked with me and all is done and well
and my MO thank me for being his sidekick
errr...i was just doing my job as a houseman...no need to exegerate..*blush blush*

ok well at least some people appreciate my work
but really aaaa???
do i look young
not that i want to look older
guess shouldn't be complaining
but damn frustrating laaaa..haishhh

na neun hoot hoot hoot~~

i never like clinics
to be honest.....
sometimes i go MIA *i hope my M.O doesn't read this*
but i have an innocent face that i was never suspected..LOL

however in this new particular posting
everyday is clinics
and everyday we have to see patient until rasa nk muntah cause there are too freaking many patients
unless you are oncall & have to stay alone up in the wards clerking case,book case & do tonnes of procedures
either way i dunno which is worse..huhu
suprisingly since starting the new posting i havent MIA from clinic..LOL
dunno why~

but it's nice to hear thanks from patient who came for their TCA just because they were told their bones are getting better

and even nicer when cute makciks says to you " tak jemu la tengok muka doktor, bila tengok rasa nak tengok lagi "
thanks a lot makcik...that really made my day..*blush blush* hehe

though wouldn't it be even better if the person i like said that

hello the person i like...where are you??

hurry and save me from the annoying people will u..hahah

till i write again
jya~

X files

hey

long time no blog

this question has always been on my mind

since forever........

forever friends

true love

does it really exist?

or is it just another chapter in a fairytale?

another X-file that remains unsolved for me

and DBSK is no longer the same to me..
besides the obvious fact there are only 2 ppl in that grp

both JYJ & DBSK look sad to me.....

where is the love people...

maybe eventually i ll get use to it
like when Uchi got suspended from NewS
like when jaebom left 2pm..

right...

but my question will still be unanswered