mask

alone

in Palliative care Unit

life sucks

i m a fake

so that things go my way

i hate it

being fake

but it makes life easier

and i hate it

especially unknown callers/texters

never introduce self

act as if they know me

WTH

go away la~~

sleep

is still the best

might as well quit housemanship and become a housewife

hello you
you won't be reading this but damn i can't keep this to myself

since working with you
my life is shit
somehow MO's think we are BFF
you think we are BFF
i was trying to be nice
but after a while
it gets tiring
to always clean up your sampahs
to get screwed because you just refuse to present your own cases & when it's full of sampah plans which some you didn't even carry out

as a 6th poster aren't you supposed to be the one with more experience than me
and yet
i have to do most of your procedures even something as stupid as blood taking
all cause you are in your own world trying to sort out stupid things or you are just making up stupid reasons just so i would do it for you
yeah so you have a kid who is not staying with you
and you miss your kid so much
but please don't be distracted and endanger people's lives or bring unnecessary trouble for others

and she is so damn cekap to push work to other people and make them in trouble..B****

arghhhh...i just can't stand her
wondering how she will ever be an M.O
deluded big boss wants her to be anaest M.O while her beloved husband will become surgical M.O..
woww...wouldn't be surprised if mortality hikes up..huhu

lost soul

5 postings ago.........

i was a super extra blurry, bully-able, dumb houseman
nothing really prepared me for housemanship

my fault really
i was almost always in my own world of fangirlism of Kpop/Kdrama/Jpop/Jdrama/and anything that is happy,rainbow,cakes,ice cream & candies
i was too-lazy-to-the ass medical school student passing exams miraculously by last minute studies, dumb luck & all thanks to the Almighty power above
no working experience what-so-ever before
a potato-couch by nature

nothing prepared me to run around the hospital
always on my feet
always on the run
always trying my best to absorb all the knowledge i should have as a medical student but was too lazy to do it then
always trying to get on the good side of others..
always kena marah by MO
always the one in trouble

haishh
come to think of it
it was a very tiring 1 st posting
and a terrible one too

but somehow after that
everything seem to speed up
and here i am
finishing my housemanship
with no idea what-so-ever what i want to do

the only things i had in mind are
i never want to do oncalls
nor do i want to work weekends
which leaves me with only K.K as an option..hahah
but don't like to see too many patients at clinic either..
i m lost
but it's not like we will really get what we applied right
hands up
i m lost
i duno what to do
can i just leave all to God's will..haha
p/s:- damn no more playing department pet after this..O-o

yum yum

mee goreng sotong + fresh air kelapa + air kelapa float


finger licking good...
damn i need 2nd rounds

and double damn i m getting fatter..haha

halyu star?

SPOTTED...G-D AT GURNEY???

NOT!!
he is just some wannabe dressed as GD..haha

Gurney plaza was promoting Amazing Korea from 9-13 September 2011
lucky for me, i decided to drop by Gurney today
ok so there is some korean food being promoted..mmm
but there were "kiddies" dressed stylishy k-pop everywhere
even saw GD wannabe at the escalator
still it didn't hit me there would be some talent show
i was chewing down some curly fries , drinking A&W root beer flaot & listening to Miss A 's Goodbye Baby Goodbye
when i saw a bunch of girls on tv screen dancing to a suspiciously Miss A's Goodbye Baby goodbye routine....

overall it was actually good
better than the ones shown on Hitz fm kpop talent show
way to go Penangite ^^
the best performance so far was by GD wannabe and "big bang"
it was awesome
2 thumbs up to them
no video performance by me
i was unfortunately blocked by other excited k-pop fans
and was looking in between their armpit & heads for ~~15min before i had a decent view..haha

but damn i feel old...bluerghh
missing those days with my fangirls >.<

p/s was wondering if any of my girlies still have our photos at dbsk concert??

post grand ward rounds & mortality review

FudGEeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!

i was saying the F word more than 100x today.........

honestly

i m fed up being on the chopping board......................
the sacrificial lamb
the scapegoat

how come i m always the only one kena?????

plz lemme be invisible here

God plz have mercy on me

pre grand ward rounds

studyinggggggggg...............

yes i m studyingggggggggg............

trying to study

i need coffee.......

on second thoughts if i drink i won't be able to sleep later

kings cream puff doesn't taste as nice as patisfrance

i m getting fat

damn

stress

fugde

i m post call

so i m sleepy

so i m a little grumpy

and suddenly had to go HBM clinic
although my GCS already dropping

oooo and yeay
although i went to HBM a lot of time
most of the time i tumpang ppl
so this time i was lost...LOL
way to go bimbo

and the annoying balding MO i dislike
he just had to add work for me
asking me to prepare mortality review in 1 day
just my "luck" that i was in HBM when balding MO decided to ask me to prepare that
i swear he is just making my life difficult because i talked back at him the other day
and dunno how la want to trace old notes & CT scan stuff
had to bother a friend to help me..huhu

and i already have homework given by BIG BOSS i have to present

damn what is wrong with everyone
do i look that free to them...

there are 17 other houseman in the department
please take your pick
i m sick of presenting 3 x all in the duration of 2 weeks

WTF some ppl who are nearly finishing pun never presented....
yeahhh WTF!!!!!

better start the freaking mortality review before i pop a vein

i m gonna die thanx to the stupid mortality review..yeay~~~ (yeah rite)

post mortem

post call

i hate it when you just did every freaking thing possible

in the end they just ended up dying

but we are just human...i know

i m just gonna sleep the whole day...bye bye world

yeay tomorrow cuti and no grand ward rounds ^^

yeahhh

who invented heritage day

i salute them

i love being in Penang ^^

finally transformers

finally after so many times postponing to watch transformers
i got to watch it todayy...wohohoho~~~

got good seats plk tuu...despite buying it super late
thanx to the cool ticket seller machaaa...
and of course my retarded friends repo skills...

*retarded friend in action after successfully getting tickets*

so i m NOT sad anymore i passed the chance of getting 2 free tickets for transformers premiers from my MO.............
i was merely trying to stand up for myself that i m NOT ghei...huhuhu
although i know that MO was simply teasing me...haishh~~~~

my verdict:-
although the story line kinda sucks
i still think the robots are cool ^^
don't mind me laaa cause i m simply superficial like that..haha
and ooo megan fox is not in transformers 3
not that i care
i m not ghei
like i said
i just like the kewl robot

and megatron reminds me of the pityful 64 year old uncle who was admitted in surgical ward 1 month back for maggots infestation of scalp
the only difference is that megatron could picit the maggot-like-robots infesting half of his head
while poor maggot-tron pakcik had poor GCS to even care the different stages & size of maggot playing around his head despite turpentine which those maggots are somehow ressistant to..mmmm~~~

anyway...
today is my youngest sis bday
cant i believe i ditch going home to celebrate to watch transformers...gomen gomen
but i know she knows i lap her a lot....hugs hugs muahs muahs ^^
so OTANJYOUBI OMEDETOU lil sis ^^OMG i still can't believe she is 21..huhu
my memory of her will always be the small weird skinny kid with black straight hair tied in ponytail *which i like to pull* wearing dark blue pinnafore & white sparx shoes..hahah

how time flies

damn i feel old...bluek~~~

post call with no PM off sucks

do not mess with me when i m.....

a. HUNGRY b. SLEEPY / SLEEP DEPRIVED / POST BAD CALL C. PMS

sometimes i just don't care who they are

i ll just.......... SNAP!

but i m NOT sorry i talk back to you....you balding MO whom i hate

thanks to you...this is my 1st time talking back to MO

and i don't even care if you think i have attitude problem
i bet all others who knew me won't believe you either...damn balding MO

urghhhh
whatever
no use thinking too much of the balding MO
it's just a waste of my neurons
i m gonna eat my double choc cake + brownies to get high~~~

time bomb...tick tock

i freaking hate you

you balding MO...........

damn i hate this posting

every single part of it

ladies fingers

been fascinated in this lately

too bad i can't do it
sebab :-
1. nnt susa nk solat
2. x seswai for brannula setting, CVP, ABG, I&D , abdominal & rectal examination...everything under the sun and of course OT
3. BIG BOSS will automatically give me the plus 3...damn

oo well
i ll just admire them

btw i m NOT that rajin anyway

change

Change...
we don’t like it,
we fear it,
but we can't stop it from coming.
We either adapt to change or we get left behind.
And it hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn’t is lying.
But here's the truth...the more things change, the more they stay the same.
And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good.
Oh, sometimes, change is...everything.

Dr Meredith Grey

blerghh~~~

i hate on calls

can i not do them

tQ~

*tries to kick myself and falls pathetically on the floor face down*

purple

i almost cried today because this particular specialist kept asking me questions
and that i felt soooo bad that i couldn't answer
i noticed that he would always attack that particular person once he knows is vulnerable...huhuh
damn it's all my fault anyway for being lazy.............

than the usually nice radiologist refused to give me a CT urgent for a patient which the uro PGH MO ask me to get just because i don't know the indication and that when i called the stupid uro MO again...i could tell he obviously didn't know why also and he gave me a stupid reason because they need imaging....i could bloody well say even xray is imaging....huhu

but in the end
it was kinda a good day
esp when fav specialist is around to make it better ^^
Gods knows how laaa fav specialist would always somehow pop into my view when i m sad
somehow i m always wearing purple and almost cryingwhen i meet fav specialist
hahah.......

but tomorrow is grand ward rounds again...damn it~

e m o

the thing that is worse than people thinking you are a nurse instead of a doctor

is of course the ward nurse thinking they are high and mighty.....better than mbbs or m.d holder

yes they are more experienced
but that is because they have been there for gazzilion years
i would have been super genius if i had stayed like that

that includes certain sisters & matrons
some are just freaking annoying
i guess they are just too free to find other peoples mistakes

but please take note NOT all nurses are like that
some are really nice
and i really do like them

it's just those few who think just because they are on the HOD / specialist good side by becoming their spies & no 1 complainer about houseman......
that they are way above everyone else

for now i can't do anything
the Boss of the posting i m currently in somehow trust the nurses better than H.o
not like my previous boss who would definitely back up their H.o

and of course they trust me more..hihi
damn i miss all my previous postings specialist.......p/s :- i think there s something wrong with my head.......

hidup yang bagaikan nyawa nyawa ikan

stress level on D1 of surgical posting 100%

currently --> 200% and counting.............

i would be lucky if i don't burst any of my cerebral blood vessels within the 4 months

until then~~~

thank God ! !

surprisingly

i survived the 2nd grand ward rounds

woot woot

throws confetti~~~
but things will change next month when i change to the dragons ward kot...haishh

* dies *