spoilt

shamelessly

i have to admit

i m...

the centre of attraction of my familythe pet of my friends & colleagues

the little sis to the MOs & specialists (in other postings)

resulting me being a little pampered brat~~~

too bad here in surgical i don't really have that privilege yet

living in fear every second of time
for making any mistakes or something being missed out
for being blank & mute when the specialist questions you and you get too nervous to answer
and of course the ultimate extension of 3 months

f ***
i m starting to swear again
something i ll do when i m too stress

s***
i can't think anymore

damn~

somethings are just not meant to be

from my elder sis blog-->

"A cat fell in love with a fish in a glass, it broke the glass and the fish died after leaving the water."
"The cat realized that it is not necessary to be with the person he loves."

love is simple...i wish~~

Forgot how it started

Maybe it was just a feeling I had towards you
Suddenly realized that I had already deeply fallen in love with you
It was that simple

I don't care if I love until the earth and the skies darken
Can't choose between right and wrong
No regret, following love night and day
That crazy person is me

I love you, can't stop loving you baby, say you love me too
I love you, I'll never be willing, baby, to lose you

I can't be any happier
As long we can be together, I'll do anything
Although the world keeps changing
Use the sincerest love to let love become simple

I love you, I'm always here baby, always loving you
I love you (yes I do) I will never give up my right to love you
If you're still a bit confused, oh no, please listen to my heart
Listen to me say I love you (yes I do) I love you

i miss you tooo~~~

they always say
the grass is always greener on the other side

i didn't want to be extended in ortho
and so here i am in surgical hell

i m freaking scared i can't articulate a simple sentence

it's all in my head i keep telling myself

have to get over this stat!!

before grandward rounds........................this thursday

in hell

on my 1st day Mr I said to me " did anyone tell you here the posting is 4+3"

Mr Y would not listen to my presentation........he doesn't trust me...........he thinks i m stupid ... huhuhu

Mr F made everyone feel stupid

Mr N's wrath is yet to be seen...damn

i miss my previous specialist

Mr W in particular ^^

btw he called me today
although i m no longer an ortho h.o
because there was no one to help him with his special patients
he had to ask where i saved the documents and stuff
i was surprised...............
and it made me feel special
too bad i was stuck in hell to help him

btw i was shocked that many of the female houseman thinks he looks good too...LOL
he may have the mask like face
but when he smilessssss..........it could make your heart do acrobatic flips
or maybe it's just me

but yes i miss him too =P

too bad he is married..
and most prolly with kids.........

but he made my day by calling
even if it's just to ask for a favor
you made me smile ^^

for that thanks ^^

goodbye

from m****

we acknowledge your request to move. Thank you for being with M**** and we hope to serve you again in the future.

rasa sedey la plk bl baca nih as i really like the service...ok whats done is done...hope for the best~~~

missing me???

i had last weekend off from work

never thought i would regret not coming to work

why???

because i miss the chance to eat breakfast with my periphery gang & favourite specialist

he even taught one of my friend how to use chopsticks...damnnnn...

but at least he remembered me & noticed i was not around

he actually ask my gang where was i >.<

i had a huge grin after hearing that...LOL

too bad he was not around today because of MOA this week

i think i m gonna miss ortho....hihi

it's complicated

getting interested with married guys is not good

oh no........

this is bad

i m going to die a spinster............

letting go

i already have a family who loves me for who i am

for that i am very very thankful..........

i also have nice colleagues whom i can lean on at times of needs.......

and MOs who are brotherly to me........

but still how come i miss my dear friends from college so much......
i don't see them anymore
rarely call & message
sometimes even forgetting each others birthday......

all i see are pics from fb
them enjoying life...........

and me being miserable here...huhuh

should let go now
after all my brother told me once that at my age, i ll start seeing one by one of my friends starting a new life.....

time to be grateful for what i have now

but i ll always treasure those memories

the alkisah of budak kurang kaseh sayang stops here......
bye~~~

pet

the monotonous and expressionless specialist knows my name

wow

that was a revelation

never thought he would care for a houseman's name
because i have never heard him call houseman by their names

though some of my friends like to joke i m his isteri tiri
just because he would always call me to do wound dressing with him, do ward rounds with him,help him STO & do dressing for his special patients,become his secretary
and the fact my colleagues saw him smile & laugh the most
breaking his emotionless face when i presented for CME
which i kinda almost often see
i guess because i m plain clumsy & he was just plain nice...actually

i learned to accept that it's houseman job to do this donkey jobs sometimes
no matter who you are
so never thought he would actually know my name

but i kinda like it
cause he is nice

but i don;t like high expectations...................

monster inside

hello i am the current ortho houseman chief

wishing to AOR discharge myself from my duties every single day

it s bad enough the stress with normal work

and i have to add all the stress of fellow housemans complaining & being not happy about their call list and stuff

the stress of MO complaining about the houseman oncall combination....
like laaa i m doing it based on their list
it s totally ramdom k!

the stress of having to chase houseman down to clinic every freaking day...
just because i can't stand MOs nagging me about houseman whereabouts & the huge mountain of folders...
well the clinic has most definitely become clinic houseman instead..huhu

OMG the list goes on
all the merepek-ness of the world

those i don't even give a damn before

but right now i have to serabut my kepala

yes

how i wish i can AOR discharge myself

-the end-

we are satu malaysia

first impression

average size
malay girl
wearing tudung
yeah so i have a lil bit of sepet eyes
and a lil fairer skin than normal malays (my brother thinks he has a vampire for a sister..bluek)

does not make me a chinese who convert to muslim
or a mix of cilayu or melana or melayu cina
aiyooo i could be pure malay laaa
don't act so surprise
we are after all 1 malaysia maaaaaa....

but i guess it does gives me the advantage of being flexible in any racial group
i m of course ok with the malays because i am one
i m ok with the chinese because i m a pseudo with an amoi for a bestfriend
i m ok with the indians because i m from a twinning programme college which is India based
which makes me as my specialist say the one malaysia girl...LOL

which also makes me the odd one out at lunch outings
either the only malay girl with 4 chinamans
or the only malay girl in a group of pretty indian girls

so..
one malaysians
lets speak something that all of us can understand k

peace to all~~

The Lazy Song

yeah i love weekend coz i don't feel like doing anything...lallalalal

otoke?

omg omg
i m going to be the new chief for my current posting
how laaaaaaaa????
even my M.O said
F u have to be firm ok don't kena buli...
LOL
never thought it was that obvious..haha

thinking of it gives me chills and rigors
omg omg
how laaaaaa???
*panic attacks *

ok that is one of the reason why i m scared to be chief

1. i freaking have panic attacks !!!

others are...

2. i m buli-able...nuff said

3. i m lazy

4. i like being undercover ---> than happily get out of the posting

5. i hate having to deal with other people's prob & cleaning up their mess..haishh

6. i hate being the centre of attraction

7. i hate thinking

8. i can't scold

9. i don't have the confidence

10. i think ppl think i m too easy...
they drink from my cup,
scoop out soup from my soup bowl,
eat cake from the same plate
talk to me nonsense stuff
and etc. which i rather not say
all without my permission
yeah i know they think i m cool *hohoh*
but i m still a girl ok...haishhhh

ok 10 reasons...
i m freaking out
should i just reject this job..LOL

on random view...
being gossip about is not fun...esp if it's with someone you don't really have any feeling for
too bad this posting has too many gossip girls and boys..
too bad i m one of them..eh wait no
i m the matchmaker..hehe

another success in the making..maybe?
hihihi

i could get rich doing this...
ooo but please....matchmaking the matchmaker...i don't think so~~

nuff said

a lot of love is in the air
a few couples in the making..thnx to urs truly
some are getting married...
too bad i can't go...

anyway
i don't think that particular friend who is getting married this weekend is gonna read this
but if she does...
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
MAY U BE BLESS WITH HAPPINESS OK~
alrite
that's all
need to go back to pulling hair on the current situation
till than...

i dont care~

lately i have developed a new talent

tuning out M.O s nagging...

masuk telinga kanan klua telinga kiri

very very useful.....

took me long enough to develop it..hehe

now i only take 1% of the nagging

and that 1% i hope will help me improve myself...

who cares about the other things

as long as i do my work
patients get well
i get paid
i go home,eat,sleep,watch TV & play with my laptop
i m happy enough..i guess~

hopefully this will continue until surgical
i really need this immunity..huhu

p/s lots of ppl getting married this days...dunno which one to go to...aaa when is mine anyway..haha

chajatda

i finally found it

Alice in Wonderland

and

Alice through a Looking Glass Illustration book ^^

best of all
both at a price of 35% discount at kinokuniya

though it may not be as nicely illustrated as my childhood London based Alice in the Wonderland book that God knows where it went to..
prolly to the old news paper uncle because it was worn out by the time it went to my youngest sister >.<

so anyway
besides the fact it was modernly illustrated
it's still an Alice illustration book..huhu
and i love it

was reading it instead of my ortho books...haishh
but it really frees your mind
and was a nice change

i miss those days when i can just sit and relax reading lots of storybooks
this days all i want to do is sleep when i have time...

maybe i should just chase after a white rabbit
who knows i might fall into a rabbits hole into a wonderland~~

white day

white is cool..heheh
i loikeee~

but obviously not all are suitable

some would look lyk pakcik tua..ohoho

nway they look kewl ^^

dream high a chance to fly high...yeah

my mood elevator ^^
dedicated to those going through hard times (like i do)
fight-o !!!



btw i m jealous of those fan who are got to see this flash mob
i wanna go korea too >.<


but for now i ll just dream high of korea 1st...
yeah~~

little girl i am NOT

just because i m a girl & somewhat look young hohoh perasan sendiri...but thats waht my MO say too

DOES NOT MEAN I M A NURSE!!!!

ok?

understood???

of course not...some ignorant people out there just refuse to get it or acknowledge it..damn it..

stupid people...

i don't really have anything against the nurses
some are nice & i like them

but i didn't waste 5 freaking years studying mbbs to get called a nurse

and some stupid people just can't believe i m a full fledge doctor just because of the way i look...*geram*
yeah they are hooligans who get into a drunken bar fight causing me to wake up in the middle of the freaking night / early morning to clerk , T&S freaking big laceration wounds all over & prepare patient for op
after all that had the guts to say
u betul doktor keee??? bukan pelatih???
u nampak muda dari i....betol kee??
even after reading my name tag
stupid a**

luckily my MO pulled me aside to ignore them
before i did anything stupid
please laaa don't la piss anyone who don't have enough sleep~~

all in all it ended well
morning pass over was OK
i have a feeling my H.O.D is being soft on me
i didn't get scolding & any high tech questions like my other colleagues who pass over cases
he just joked with me and all is done and well
and my MO thank me for being his sidekick
errr...i was just doing my job as a houseman...no need to exegerate..*blush blush*

ok well at least some people appreciate my work
but really aaaa???
do i look young
not that i want to look older
guess shouldn't be complaining
but damn frustrating laaaa..haishhh

na neun hoot hoot hoot~~

i never like clinics
to be honest.....
sometimes i go MIA *i hope my M.O doesn't read this*
but i have an innocent face that i was never suspected..LOL

however in this new particular posting
everyday is clinics
and everyday we have to see patient until rasa nk muntah cause there are too freaking many patients
unless you are oncall & have to stay alone up in the wards clerking case,book case & do tonnes of procedures
either way i dunno which is worse..huhu
suprisingly since starting the new posting i havent MIA from clinic..LOL
dunno why~

but it's nice to hear thanks from patient who came for their TCA just because they were told their bones are getting better

and even nicer when cute makciks says to you " tak jemu la tengok muka doktor, bila tengok rasa nak tengok lagi "
thanks a lot makcik...that really made my day..*blush blush* hehe

though wouldn't it be even better if the person i like said that

hello the person i like...where are you??

hurry and save me from the annoying people will u..hahah

till i write again
jya~

X files

hey

long time no blog

this question has always been on my mind

since forever........

forever friends

true love

does it really exist?

or is it just another chapter in a fairytale?

another X-file that remains unsolved for me

and DBSK is no longer the same to me..
besides the obvious fact there are only 2 ppl in that grp

both JYJ & DBSK look sad to me.....

where is the love people...

maybe eventually i ll get use to it
like when Uchi got suspended from NewS
like when jaebom left 2pm..

right...

but my question will still be unanswered