selamat hari raya aidiladha...but i m postcall...goodnight

new posting but same old me....
when i first started housemanship
i always thought a 3rd poster and above is damn canggih
now in those shoes
i don't think it's all that great
but great enough to know houseman training is just 3 postings away....without extensions..huhu

there are still so many things that i don't know
so many things to learn each day
but i was lucky in my early days in this new posting
the MO s i had to work with are damn nice

even though one made me get him the free Sun newspaper everyday
he was damn cool with me & taught me a lot of procedures
letting me do a pleural tapping, pleural biopsy & chest tube all on my 1st day of tagging
i was so damn scared since it's my 1st time but lucky he was there to supervise

another Mo always had a mask like face but is very nice...most of the time
the other times he just like to berleter to me...
all because
i m kinda slow
clumsy
careless
and i didn't know a lot of things
but he supervise my 1st peritoneal dialysis...which is the reason why i m quite good at it..haha
and yes he corrected my mistakes & taught me a lot
so what if he likes to berleter to me
he thinks i look too young......hohohoohohohhoo
*me thinks that's why MOs like to ask me how old are you question...problem solve..haha*

currently i m in a cubicle where the lioness of the department resides..huhu
following rounds alone is so damn scary
that i dread days my dearest cubicle mates get to escape to go down for clinics
the reason i m NOT dead yet is prolly because i had the please-don't-kill-me-yet-look during rounds...haahha
and i think she likes my sticky traditional hand-made yummy which i m so addicted to right now after i offered her one day

*gambar hiasan onli k...my candy jar is so pretty & colouful....assorted flavors ^^*

only available at 1utama for the time being

lets pray this sweeties get to tame the lioness for the time being
while i start being smarter
please God help me~

daydreaming~

if i m not what i am right now..

i would prolly travel around to draw pictures of whatever i like

or open a bakery just because i love cakes & desserts so so much

or open a kindergarten because i love the house/kindergarten my lil sister's friend's mother own in the corner lot of a housing area where i usually walk to pasar malam with mama...just cause it looks homey & fun

or become a stewardess just because i like traveling & to see new places

maybe i would love japan so much in one of those travels

i would stay & learn to be a manga-ka

or stumble into a secret organization to be recruited as a GUNDAM pilot with cool alias..haha

the grass always looks greener on the other side of where we are standing...that i know i should be grateful with what i have...

but i doesn't hurt to dream of what ifs...right?

hello ^^

the apple tree

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree. The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

age is just a number?

lets play a game of

you know you are getting older if....

you start sleeping at 9-10 pm

you just get tired so damn easily

you start eating less

but you don't really lose weight

you listen to light and easy on the radio

you start giving money to your parents...instead of the other way round

you have your own car

you drive your parents around

you think kids are cute

you wear ahjumma style but comfy sandals to work

you missed out on fandom

you stop fangirling

you don't see your besties for soooo looonnnnggg

you are overly sensitive about everything.....

and just cry cry cry.....

so how old are u all?

being mama

finally end posting holidays that i ve been waiting for have come

of course passing the posting with flying colours makes it all the better

i almost woke up the usual time to work today

when i realize

i m sleeping in my oooo sooo commmfyy bed...
and i didn't have to go to work ^^
how i miss the privilege to wake up late....
and so i did
though not too late
woke around 9 today to see mama was already awake *of course..duh* watching k drama as usual on kbs
mama wanted to make me breakfast but i said i was not hungry yet & i didn't want to disturb mama watching her daily dose of k drama

anyway she made me eat breakfast after the show ended
and we had a peaceful and of course YUMMY with a capital Y breakfast ^^
my tummy was practically singing in joy after breakfast
God knows how long i ve ate breakfast like this with mama
since started working usually i would wake up, shower ,skip breakfast and dash to work....
thinking about it mama...i pity mama having to eat breakfast alone everyday
even i hate eating all alone
no wonder mama seems to lose weight lately
everyone is just too occupied with stupid work...including me~

mama was doing laundry after breakfast
wanted to help out but she insisted i rest since i don't really have much holidays
so i was watching the awesome slave hunter series *i know i m super ketinggalan zaman* while observing mama

episode 1 of slave hunter
= mama doing laundry & gardening

episode 3 of slave hunter
= mama preparing lunch

episode 4
= had lunch with mama

episode 5
= mama reading newspaper ,than started sewing something & watching something on KBS

episode 6
= mama preparing food for dinner & making karipap

episode 7
= dinner with mama, abang & dad + watching happiness in the wind on KBS

episode 8
= watch news + sewing something + preparing something *food i guess because we are going K.L next day...must be la..mama always prepare food ^^ *

episode 9
= iron clothes
= pack some stuff for K.L trip

episode 10
= mama went to sleep because she had to wake up early to prepare food for those chibis in K.L

fast forward to ep 15
= LOL i was on calling all night watching slave hunter because it was so damn addictive
= mama woke up to see me who didn't sleep whole night
= prepared me tea & started cooking......

i told mama i kesian having her stay all alone at home
she said it s OK
she has flowers & plants in the garden she would talk to if we are not around
but she's more than happy when we called
mama never like going K.L
but since lil chibis are there
she is more than happy to be there with everyone of us cramped up in a hotel room ^^

anyway tomorrow is 1st October
the birthday of the cutest & best mom in the whole wide world
my MAMA
and not to mention also mama & dad's wedding anniversary
so HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA & HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MAMA & DADDY!!!

thank you for raising this difficult child
and may GOD bless u with all the happiness in life
love u always mama ^^

menjual ikan

i am selfish....

in a way

i guess

i realize i value my sleep more than other things....

i am selfish

maybe...

that i don't really think about other people's feeling

taking everything for granted

i am selfish

yes...

for making my dad or brother fetch me to & from work

i am selfish

sadly

that i don't really help mama with housework

i am selfish

i guess

for not realizing all this and more...

and soo...

i will keep this in mind
try to change
or just keep it for next new years resolution ..hoho

-the end-

i never thought i would ..... .hahah

i never thought i would last housemanship this long

i never thought i would pass a posting with so much racism

i never thought i would pass end posting the best in batch

i never thought that my M.O would actually trust me with a lot of stuff

i never thought i would actually like a person who is soooo not my type *i guess appearance don't matter now that we are working*

i never thought i would reject another person ........ again~~

i never thought others would think me as a very social person..haha

i never thought i would be likeable?

i never thought my specialist would think me as the 1 malaysia girl

i never thought i would miss my darlings sooo much

i never thought i would be best buddies with V & J

i never thought about a lot of stuff

well maybe it's because my brain is just empty...haha

i m sorry that i hurt u

i know most of the time i can be oblivious of everything around me

sometimes i choose to ignore what i don't want to see

in the end......

people get hurt

after realizing it i just don't know how to make it right again

i don't want people to hate me...

but other people's feeling is not something i can control

and s*** la i dunno what i ll do if that person becomes my MO in the end T.T

i just wanna make it right again >.<

wanted

WANTED

lil miss chibi who has a big heart & equally big brain
lil miss sunshine who is always there for a friend & makes everything right again

lil miss fun who is always ever ready doing something random & fun

i miss "jaebom" girls so much..haha
i miss our carefree days~

misunderstood

i don't speak their language

nor do i have the same brain wavelenght as a 6th poster

but there is always two sides to a story

and obviously mine is opposite to theirs...

s T u c K

funny how over the past few months that i've started housemanship
there are already 3 houseman coincidentally who are all close to me and had always advise me to be strong suddenly decided to quit........

1st one to go was a colleague when i was in O&G
she was one of the excited senior houseman who wanted me to be in their team
she was one of the best partners i had when i had to be on call
she was one of the people who would comfort me when i cry
buy me food when i m on call
give sisterly advise
and had fun & laughs together......
and all of a sudden
she had a family crisis
couldn't take the stress
and left........

2nd was my roomie
a senior whom i knew in med school
she always told me to ignore everything
just do my work
come back
and forget everything
brought me out to dinner & movies
invited her to her wedding
after getting married
things got harder for her to handle the stress
she had a supportive & not to mention wealthy hubby who is more than happy for her to quit
but she didn't want to disappoint her family
in the end
she did just that
quit..
for once she just wants to do what she wants

3rd was someone i knew when i was in O&G
because i would meet her when she does she periphery paeds call
and somehow we ended in the same department
she is awesome & really knew her stuff
learn quite a lot from her when i was tagging
there were no signs
out of the blue a resignation letter was submitted
she wanted to help her husbands business.......

they left me wondering
with what i should do
i really want to quit
life is just too hard for me to handle
and i hate this job

but if i quit...
i still have no plans for the future
i would be penniless
i would disappoint my family
i would not be able to travel
i would be a fat potato couch
i would be a burden
i would have to eat mushrooms........

yeah i m stuck
where s my prince charming when i need him????
or i should just join AF like my MO told me too..hahah..as if i have talent

anyway i know most people would smack me in the head if i do this
esp "BFF" & guardian *though guardian know nothing about this cause i m always evading..hahah*
and my family?

so again where's my prince charming?
where are u JAE????

till we meet again

u & i may say hi

be friendly to each other
smile as if we mean it

but

at the end of the day
it's not how many friends we made that counts

it' s those who stayed during the good & bad times that counts
no matter how few there are
which is the case most of the time~~

i guess i have to be thankful for that few that i have...
thanks for accepting the troublesome awkward not perfect me as i am
oo yes i m really missing you all right now...

till we meet again my darlings~

yeah whatever. .. . . . . . .. . ..

when you are a houseman
its always the h.O's fault no matter what
though it doesn't apply to all
but in my case it does...damn~

situation 1 :-
it's wrong to come to the clinic too early

example :-
HO arrived at clinic at 745am
MO : why are you here so early
HO : i though we have to come down for clinics early??
MO : yeah but you know...anything a houseman do is wrong...
HO thinks yeah whatever la....

situation 2 :
it's wrong to have your breakfast before starting clinics

example :-
MO :- hoi koranggggggggg....makan sebelum tgk patient?????
HO :- errr...xde BHT lagik...so ktrg mkn dulu...
MO : korg mmg laaa...

situation 3 :-
it's our fault as well that some oncall people took E.L although we came to work & on calls

example :-
LR nurse : doctor xde orang oncall nih..org labour room sume post call & nk blk dh
HO : tp MO sy blom rounds ward lg...tp xpe la sy pg kjp

few minutes later....
ward nurse : doctor MO dh dtg dia suro dtg buat rounds
HO : aaaaaa kejapppp....sy x abes clerk case & tgh buat ARM..huhuh..kejap kejap 5 minutes..

after few repeated calls by nurse & ARM & completed clerking later ..........

ran like crazy

MO : mana kamu pegiiii???
HO : err xde org kt labour room...
MO : mn org laen pg...sape lg oncall
HO : sy x tau *malas nk get people into trouble & malas nk layan MO*
MO : korg nihhh maken ramai h.O maken byk buat hal.....
HO : ..................... *when is this all this H.O s fault..plz tell me*

situation 4:-
it's our fault that someone brainless forgot to dispose the blue scrubs properly...

specialist : who was oncall yesterday

oncall HOs raise hand

specialist : ok...where did u put away your blue scrubs
HO : in the bin at labour room

annoying sister : tapi ada baju biru kt wad terbiar je

MO : this girl she on call that ward that night
HO : but i put the scrubs in the bin
specialist : got any witness ?
HO : not sure~~~
*but why would i go all the way to that ward which don't have shower and dump it there...when i could shower in the labour room changing room and throw it right there....duh~*

later that evening ----> oncall people cannot wear blue scrubs anymore

yeah...put the blame on the H.Os again..for all we know other people could wear it as well~~~
and i kinda have a good idea who........

situation 5 :-
it's your fault that you can't trace a old notes

example 1 :-
MO : mn folder yg sy suro awak trace
HO : errr...x dpt jumpa lagi
MO : cepat sket carik tuh cik kak...

apparently the MO thinks the poor HO buat keje x ikhlas..........ok whatever

example 2 :-
patient : nape xde old notes....awak igt sy sape haaaaaaa...cuba tgk nihhh
HO : errr....*looks at the front of folder...mmm isteri Pengarah tut tut tut*......
patient : saya x nk tgk doktor pelatih bagi saya tgk pakar

yeah just because you are some datin wanabe & rich you don't have to be so rude...it's not the HOs job to find it or that it cant be found.........
and if you are soooo rich & so datin wanabe just go to the private hospital laaaa...no need to add more people on clinic daysss!!!!!

and that's only 10% of what's happening.....
i m too frustrated to write all 100 thousand more..haishh

anyway can i just quit
i m going loco~

21 guns

Do you know what's worth fighting for,
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?
Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I

When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul
Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's ever built to last
You're in ruins.

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I

Did you try to live on your own
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire?
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone

When it's time to live and let die
And you can't get another try
Something inside this heart has died
You're in ruins.

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I

not what it seems?

i m officially a push over
and "stepmother" & her croonies knows that *yeay*

but "MAYBE" there is a good side to stepmother.....

one day
when i had to stay back to clear up all the cases pending
she was oncall and saw me struggling to finish the never ending cases...
she was shocked to see me there because she knew i was not oncall
she actually said.......
"i hope you pass your viva...you better do your best ok!"
"and go back la....pass over your cases to the oncall people..bye bye"

that is after months of being bossed around with her loud shrilly voice that i fear for my ears going deaf...lol XD XD

yeah like in the drama Cinderella's stepsister maybe there is another side to my evil stepmother too..hahaha...as if~~~

all that's left for me is the prince charming
where are you.....
how come i didn't meet you yet?

but life's never a fairytale ...no?

wonder woman

paranoid

the 2nd month in O&G already
but there are still lots of things i m not sure of & of course don't know

1 thing i know for sure is.........
it's hard to find someone we can trust here
they are just as talented as a chameleon
i m amazed at how these people can talk sooooo nicely & smile to that one person
and then bitch about them later on
ok
so i think it's fine if they rant their hearts out to another houseman if they feel irritated with that person
but to bitch about them to the M.O just for a small problem
i feel pity for that person...
haishhhh

i don't want to think that some of these people might be doing the same thing to me

but somehow they might just have~~

yep

i m being paranoid

but it's better safe than sorry~~

please come before 5pm

i officially HATE on calls & eods....

and being jonah is not a good thing

i don't think there is any history in ward 4 (gynae ward)
until i was oncall in that ward that night
that there was 2 ruptured ectopics both pon haemodynamically unstable...both pon mula mula kononnyeh miscarriage..until la scan done....haishhh~~~~

not to mention yg time nk resuscitate & sebok sebok prepare OT sorg2 la *coz i was the only houseofficer there* nak ada sudden influx of patients...........pulls hairrr

i was practically on the verge of tears trying to finish clerking everyone...plus have to monitor people coming in for high BP...........
plus the nurses that time not helping langsung
lagi tambah kerja for me ada laaaaaaaa
"doktor branula kena set laen la"
"doktor kena amek FBC post transfusion la"
"doktor patient saket sgt perot laaaaaaaa"
etc etc............
WTHHHHHHHHHHH...........
leave me alone laaaaaaaaaa
i have gazzilionsssss of people to clerkkkk & examine...
and u not even helping sgt monitor BP..haishhhhhhhh
happily sitting around gossiping when i havent even taken my bath nor eaten

and so people please laaaaaaa...

to mothers to be

if u decide to have PV bleed or high BP that day..please la come before 5
there are a lot of houseofficers to layan u that time..........
sekian terima kasih~~

btw today there is a code blue in my hospital
*the day before was Code Red kt labour room-->eclampsia*
and suddenly thought of a certain konon nyeh-out-of-bed-hairdo Doctor Aizawa Kosaku..hahha it's been a looooooong time since i fangirl with my darlingss
i sooo miss everyone ~~~

can't wait for that meet up..hihi
till we meet again
me off to ZzZzZZzzz land another on call tomorrow...i hate eods!!

p/s :- plz pray that i wont b jonah again...

Black sheeps are not allowed here!!!

losing ones trust
is one of the worse things that could happen to you..........

i freaking hate you BLACK SHEEP!!!

because of you............

i m losing the trust people put in me

and made them disappointed of me

and i freaking hate you nurses too
who just couldn't record the names of people doing a procedure properly
don't get me wrong
i don't hate all of them
some nurses are simply NICE!!
it's just a few freaking stupid ones...arghhghghg~~~

it's a matter of time my new years resolution is gonna break~~~

i m lucky though
my senior h/o s are simply caring...
although they won't be reading this
and i hope no one from HSJ ever would....

sorry for making you guys worried
i ll definitely try my best!!

p/s :- i miss you darlings..lets do our best!!

the tagger

2 weeks tagging nearly done

but i m

still not confident with my VE

neither am i with ARM but somehow getting better i think..thank God~~

almost done with my 10 deliveries *1more to go*
i smell bloody almost everyday..damn

but still suck at sewing epi & tear..huhuhu

clerk & review cases faster

tp tulisan cakar ayam nak mampos sampai kena tegur specialist. =.=;

trying to be independent now that super nice houseman C changed department..huhuh

trying to get along with everyone

but some are plain B***** & D*****

have to be on specialist & MO good side

getting used to 36hours EOD

no day offs

and mandi air sejuk

trying to find time to eat , sleep & study

damn viva is in 4 days

i don't want to extand..huhuh

oo yeah did i mention at HSJ they extand people as simple as drinking tea especially in ONG, Paeds & Surgery..hurray~~

wish me luck ppl!!!
lets get through this.....

p/s :-miss everyone lots !!!!!!

36

i am 7 hours postcall for my 1st EOD which lasts for 36 hours

and

6 hours to another yet 36 hour EOD

yippie yupiie doodle dee~~

can't wait... *nada sarcastic*

that's ONG posting 2 tagging nightmare in HSJ for you
also not forgetting the scary looking specialist & scary end posting,mid posting & wateva other assessment

this days the "MY FEET ARE KILLING ME" syndrome is such a norm


without a doubt
i am in this syndrome too....><

but
this year
i m trying to stop/lessen my complainings

so i m gonna talk about the good things

like this....

the h/o s in ONG are nice
esp C , K , N , M
they thought me lots of stuff i feel very la the segan everytime i can't do it
it's really disappointing when someone tries really hard to help you
but u still cant do it

i guess that's what they get
after months of trying to urge mothers to do their best to deliver their babies
many times mothers are on the verge of giving up
and giving birth is no simple matter

so i guess it's the same in my position
they are not giving up until i learn
God i m so thankful to meet such ppl...

i have yet to meet other ppl in the department
hopefully everyone is just as nice

the MOs are scary though
asyik kena marah je..damn

okie before this entry turns into a rant
i ll just end it here
and hibernate.......................

until 5am tomorrow

hahah

oyasumik~

doki doki tomaranai..nya~~~

just got my induction letter 5 minutes ago...

and ooo-em-geeeeeeee i m sooo freaking out..huwaaaaaa

i m freaking scared about entering the ooo-so-BIG adult world
and the thought of being scolded by MO/specialist/consultants scares me like hell..huhu
*please please God let them be kind & patient to blurry me..aishh*

but the thought of earning my own money...*muka tamak* hopefully is a good enough motivation
though i do want to be a good & safe doctor..that is as long as i plan to practice..
haiyaaaa...i m having tachycardia already

k la malas nk pk dh...lg pk lg tachycardia
going to maen game or watch gundam or any other anime *while i still can*
eh jap kn carik baju kurung puteh kaen hitam plk..damn~
*btw maggggggggg if u are reading this my sister ckp miracle train crtr merepek..sob sob..*

so dear darlingssss & friends see u at induction..huhu
plz recognize me despite the amout of weight gain >< ;

till we meet again~~~

p/s :- for the LAST time...i m NOT a nurse!!!!! grrrrrr....

-end-

love letters to u

a love letter specially for my darlings cause i miss you all~~~

*yucks tiba-tiba jiwang plk*

packing

never thought packing would be so hard
i stayed up the whole night
folding clothes that was never ending
i wonder how it mountain up to this much..huhu
even with the huge bag
all my clothes cannot be fit in
packing my books
was no easier
no matter how i put it into boxes
there are still more on my table,shelf,drawers
i m more than positive now those books multiply itself *gyahhh*
and the books weigh tonnes too T.T
there goes all the money for postals..huhu
all other stuff
can i just leave it here
i m going crazy already
mama please come quick

on side note :
packing makes me sad especially when i have to go back early...i can't spend more time with my friends..i m so gonna miss them~
gonna miss my room lots too..goodbye ac room & hot water

our happy ending^^

ALHAMDULILLAH

WE ARE NOW DOCTORS!!!

CONGRATULATIONS BATCH 15

WE DID IT^^

to my beloved V.IP.s
thanx for everything
thanx for always being there for me through all the laughter & cries
life would be soooo unbearable without you gals*hugs*
definitely gonna miss u all*sob sob*

to my friends
you guys are definitely the best bunch of friends i've met so far
thanking the Allmighty for that

to my partner & jiran of 5 years
although both of you are always missing
you guys totally make up for it
by making me laugh
and being there at least when i really need your help

to my groupmates
though there were many dramas
we did have some fun rite..
haha

to my batchmates
i m really proud of being part of this strong batch
congratulations again doctors of batch 15
we did it^^

gonna pack up all my things now
my parents are coming tomorrow
sure gonna miss all my friends
love u all lots
thanx so much for everything
sorry for anything i did wrong
friends forever~~

sorry

exam result is not out yet
probably tomorrow..
the anxiety is killing me
but there is also something else that is bugging me this days
saying goodbyes~
i was never good at saying good byes
because i hate crying
most of the time
i live things hanging just like that........
if there is a chance
we will meet again
that's what i want to believe...
so when i couldn't make it to gatherings
it's not that i don't want to
there is a lot things that i/we are going through/on my mind
but i m willing to bet that there would be more than enough people to fill in my small empty spot~
the gathering would still be a happy one
so friend if today is the last time i see you
i m really sorry for making you mad...
but please know that you do have a special place in my heart
it's going to be very hard to forget you..especially you being someone eccentric in my life..lol
so please forgive me
and thanx for everything
till we meet again?

yeah i am scared

my future is gonna be decided on friday

i m freaking scared

i just hope Allah lets me pass..

a happy ending..i hope

FINALLY FREAKING DONE WITH FINALS MBBS!!!!

and i sure hope

that this will be the last

cause i m freaking tired of this crap...

plz plz GOD lemme & my freinds pass!! amin~

sure working as a houseofficer isn't all beds of roses cause it does have thorns too

but at least.............

i will get paid

XD XD

haiyaaa...klua suda sifat mata duetan materialistika..LOL

whatever la as long as i get out of this freaking college..

though i will definitely miss my IMPORTANTS!!!

speaking of which....

it's CHIBI-chan's b-day today

HAPPY 24TH BIRTHDAY DEAR!!
wishing u all the best things in life again this year *hugs*

tipah tertipu..lol

a stupid story my sister told me in an attempt to make me laugh...

A : i have a friend yg agak lembut
Me : okie..soo
A : ada a fren of dia tgk facebook pics dia..pastuh npk ada gmbr sorg girl cun
Me : don't tell me it's him
A : his fren tny la sape nih..ur awek ke? kiut la
Me : pastuh?
A : the lembut guy blush..
Me : ..........*was thinking confirm that lembut guy*
A : he said it's him..he used photoshop to make his hair long & make up
Me : ooooookie~~~~

i didn't laugh
but
thnx for trying
XD XD

moral of the story :-
don't judge a book by it's cover??
LOL

quoting a classmates fb status:
"... intrigued by ppl's photogenicity....good looking photos are extremely deceiving...sum gurls look great in photos but in reality, i'd rather stare at the sun... The magic of the camera and hours of posing.... "

happy belated birthday mama

been stressing a lot yesterday
too many breakdowns to count
that i totally forgot my mama's bday
until this morning...

HAPPY belated BIRTHDAY MAMA!!
MAY ALLAH BLESS U WITH ALL THE HAPPINESS IN LIFE & GOOD HEALTH!!
you deserve all the best things in life
for bringing me,kak,abang,alia & ayu into this world
for guiding us to be the people that we are now
for encouraging us
for always being there for us
for all those prayers u made for us
for your most wonderful oiishi food
and all other things that u do that makes us the best of what we are
love u lotssss mama!!

earthquake+heartquake

long case done..
3 shortcases next

dunno what to say
but..
it was as bad as the earthquake i felt today

i was literally swaying on the bed...
thought at first that i was either going crazy or there was a ghost in mag's room..haha
until i asked hana
"hana nape aku rasa bed nih gerak"
we screamed..LOL

what a way to experience exam day~

nway thnx hana & mag for trying to cheer me up
all the best to all^^

hope we will all make it through~

mintak mak kueh sepotong..lalalalala...

practice history taking/shortcase/examination sessions with my friends ends for this week
cause i m going back for raya tonight..yeay!!^^
though the raya spirit is lacking this year because i m freaking scared of the final exams
i was soooooo freaking scared at one point that i was thinking of not going back for raya
and bug all the patients to let me practice & sharpen my skills *kiasu giler*
but all is loss at the thought of beloved family & mom's rendang..huhu~ ^^;
can't wait...ITADAKIMASUU!!

on another note especially to friends i see on daily basis currently...
if i ever do forget/don't recognize you in the future please feel free to knock my head or if you are nice please forgive me whatever laa you can decide
cause i think i m suffering from early onset dementia
why?
because yet again i don't recognize those people i used to know* i think i used to know laaa* in school/matrix...
they are now h/o in the hospitals where i go to bug the patients
and they somehow recognize me even after yearssss..*super amazed*
while i had to rack my brain over to remember where i had met them & what are their names..arghhh~
thank GOd for name tags!!!!
although i had to pretend i rmmbr as to not offend them *they were super nice to recommend patients with good findings* until i get a peek at their name tags..hhuhu~ *plz forgive me*

anyway today is Mun's Birthday
if you are reading this...
HAPPY 24TH BIRTHDAY!!!!



all the best to you!!!
thanx to u & nurul i learned a LOT during our practice sessions^^
hope we'll make it through this finals..huhu

almost time to break fast
in a few hours i ll be on the bus home
before i end..
SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI
MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN TO ALL!!!
LOVE U ALL LOTS...MUAXxX!!

till we meet again..
have lots of fun at home,study & grow fat..haha
ciao peeps~

again & again...

at times when i get frustrated with all the dicks, balls & anal-gesia

who laaa readsss carcinoma of penis or undescended testis...damn i don't even see them at the hospitals
once again i got hooked on to another fandom
yeehaaaa...
helloooooooo 2pm!!!the songs currently being replayed over and over again on my playlist
the utube videos i stalk until 4a.m *oo yeah i m the joker..LOL*
the music i keep hearing in my head while answering MCQ
the cool performance i see on the stage of the exam hall instead of damn Prof. R yapping in front
the ones we fangirl right now^^
the reason we joined damn competitions to get tickets cause i m officially broke
the cause of my impatience -->wanting to go back to my room stat!
*nk tgk 2pm!!!*
oo yeah i can so see the bad prognosis
definitely 10 out of 10
hahaha..

last paper tomorrow
than i m off
back home sweet home
eating free yummy mama cooked food^^
i know la benda nih like benda biasa jeee to some of you
but plz excuse this person for being overly excited to go home
cause it just have been too long~~
just hope studying for finals will be more productive at home..huhu

lets do our best for finals k!!!

despite all the dicks balls and anals we got for sessionals..haha

until than~~

racing like crazy against time...huwawa

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN!!

before cinderella internet gets crazy and die at 1230am
if it's still deciding to be cinderella laa
i ll just write a quickie & get back to work
i just want to say...
that i m really really sorry that i ve been missing on eating meals together,fangirling,disappearing from YM/facebook ,hardly see/talk to my dear neighbours and watever what not....
basicly being asocial XD XD
i promise i will be out of my cave as soon as i m back on track or until the sessionals ends or until i get blind from all the reading..damn i totally thought yesterday was tuesday not wedenesday..and now i m 1 day +++ behind schedule...great great great..i m officially getting loco..huhu

so for now..please bear with me k..hhuhu

you know i love u all

xoxo

sleepy kumako~~

last??lets hope it stays that way

last day of posting!!!!

no specific fond memories

just like boring everyday postings..except lazier XD XD

finally after 5 loooooooong years..

ehh jap keje nnt still ada postings right *damn*

well lets just hope this is the last day we are posted at hospital as Manipol student..
*cross fingers!!!*

now all i have to do is concentrate on sessionals

10 days 9 subjects to studyy..yeay~~

nways.."HAPPY" STUDYING EVERYONE!!

---------------------------------------------

another this time really happy note:-

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY ALIA & ABANG ^^
may both of you be blessed with all the happiness in life

*HUGS*

so what?

so what if you are confident with your public speaking
so what if you receive praises for your traditional dance
so what if you straighten your curly hair
so what if you only want to hang out with so called cool people
so what if we are not friends

being in the same group
shouldnt you have the decency to know your temporary groupmate's name
& not refer her as the girl at the front
you may not like her in the first place
giving her the look like you are better than her anywhere/everywhere possible

you are NOT that great
you are NOT always right

please dont be full of youself!!

deja vu

harry potter & 1/2 blood prince

once again i ll just say..

the book is always better than the movie

but knowing that

i still watch it in the cinema XD XD

a lil quickie on the movie..more like the main characters

i still don't think the guy who plays harry potter can act

hermione is reallllllly pretty...she has good skin XD XD

ron has well developed biceps & triceps @=@

i like the girl who plays luna~~ she's exactly how i thought she'll be..bravo

ginny is tall

draco malfoy is not cute anymore..LOL

and i m not ghei..haha

it's not the usual HP movie watching tradition without boss
but get well soon boss^^

post lamp post *lol oyaji gag*

soooo...

in the end i decided la jadik lamp post
plz refer post kt bawah
* yer demi attendance bodo tuhh..naseb baek dpt houseofficer baek tolong suka suki cop kertas..XDXD*

lol

x tau nk kata pe

awkward kot..

i m just thankful i just had to stay for 1 hour ++ ...hohoho

x pasal2 secara medical term nyeh jadik antigen/foreign body

atau dgn layman term nyeh tiang lampu/penonton drama melayu/mangsa keadaan
*yeshhh d heroine of this drama sacrifice me to be the co pilot sbb apparently cm ada avoidance yg selama nih i m not aware of..dont blame me..i mmg blur bnd2 nih...though i m glad i have the blurness during this times..haha*

dh laaa xde orang beranak
xde orang yg nk kena buat VE
seb baek la dr D decided to buat class on normal labour & CTG time tuh..pe lagi i join laa

so moral of the story
don't get MIA partner *somehow slalu dpt partner cmnih..adeh adeh*
klu nk jadik lamp post sila tebal kan muka & activate blur mode to the MAXXX!!

p/s:-boss telah bagi title queen of awkwardness to me..sankyuuu...i love u boss!!

dah dah..baek aku makan burger ayam special nih dari continue mopping around..lapar suda..oichik~

note:- jgn tertipu..nih bukan burger ayam special gazebo...tp lebey kurang laaa nih..byk isi~

than

oyasumik ppl~

the question

to be the tiang lampu

or

NOT

to be the tiang lampu

that is the question

x guna ko partnerrr..huhu~~

on the brink~

when things get too suffocating

lets get a change of air~~

somehow studying at shopping complex is more productive than studying in my room..haha

post study sessionwe look too HAPPY to be exam going students..LOL

but lets all be done with & leave this college together k

and i ll look back at this poikilometry pic..and laugh^^

ganbarimass!!hwaitingg!!studyy!!

lazy weekend

lazy lazy weekend....

especially when it's raining this morning

it was sooo comfortable to sleep that i just slept pass the annoying fire alarm just like that

yes klu betol ada kebakaran
mmg habes hangus dah..hohoh

it has been a long time since i slept like this

damn tomorrow is Monday already~~

i wanna sleep summore

nway today is my lil sis bday

so HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOOchan
may u get all the BEST things in life^^

bright spots at the end of the week^^

1st & 2nd bright spots
finally..tandoori & butter nan night after a long time..oichikkkk^^
all thnx to that F1 driver..hahah

though it was not the same dinner without chibi-chan & maggie esp when today is mag's bday
for now...i guess a birthday wish would suffice..
so..
HAPPY 24th BIRTHDAY MAG!!
wishing u all the best in life!!!
*hugs & muahs*
lets get something oichik later k^^V

3rd bright spot
georgina will not be oncall tomorrow !!!!!
*throws confetties^^*
can sleep in tomorrow..yeayy~~

4th bright spot
thanx everyone for the lovely belated prezzie..love it lots*hugs*

5th bright spot
makan & masak cempedak goreng+sembang sembang+watch re runs of GBN sambil ketawa guling guling tengok pelakon tambahan..haha
lama betol x maen lepak lepak kt umah orang^^

at least this weekend x boring sangat time time hostel sunyi sepi^^
thnx tuan rumah & u allsss~

fat joke

at a blood donation campaign................

pakcik attendan sangka funny asked:- berapa berat badan?
girl dgn jujur & straight forward nyeh jawab:- 4*kg
pakcik attendan sangka funny dgn muka disbelief cakap:-yeke x nampak 4*kg pon...mcm 50 lebey je!!
girl dgn annoyed nyeh jawab:- yela saya baru timbang hari minggu baru nih...
annoyed girl thinks :- do i look fat?
pakcik attendan sangka funny dgn muka sangattt disbelief cakap lagi dgn annoying nyehh:-yeke..saya dh lama keje kt sini..saya tau laa..pegi timbang balik tgk...
girl dgn rasa insulted ngn pakcik cakap:- ye le meh tgk saya pegi timbang....

goes to weighing scale....

weighing scale reads-->4*kg

girl said:- kn saya dh cakapppppp!!!x nak caya lagi...
pakcik attendan sgka funny jokingly said:- oo bagos yehh...nampak besar tp sbnr nyeh ringan..ringan pahala ehhh..bagos la dari berat dosa...
girl dah irritated giler malas nk jawab thinks :- wateva la pakcik..sangka funny la tuhhhh~~

silence

pakcik sangka funny :- tahun brp nihh?
girl jawab dgn annoyed nyeh :- tahun akhir~~
pakcik sangka funny :- apsal x penah npk kt hospital
girl yg dh annoyed tuh pikir :- damn u pakcik u r messing with the wrong person at the wrong time *yeah she was tired & cranky*
so the annoyed girl jawab :- pakcik saya baru blk hospital pakcik...tau x skg pukul brp pakcik?? lepas nih saya kena pg blk tau..ishhh~~
annoyed girls thinks again :- plz laaa..aku yg terpacak kt hospital from 750am to 6pm and than pegi blk at 8pm-10pm cakap x pg hospitallll unlike some people i know...plz laaa..i wish i dont have to go to the freaking hospital like some people i know & study a bit for the finals...but somehow i always jadik mangsa keadaan...arghhhh *pulls hair*

stupid session with insensitive pakcik ends..moves on to next counter~~

the girl was emotionally & physically insulted
i m telling u it's the cause why girls are having eating disorders not that i have one..though i do think about it from time to time...in fact i m having benjo as a my supper..damn
now the poor girl believes she's super FAT!!
should she believe her friends anymore....
friends are after all friends...
they are supposed to be NICE to you..huhu

i m thinking i should go on a diet too~~

afterall i have 2 dugongs as thighs & of course other unnecessary appendages~~

damn you stomach always being hungry and making me eat!!!
damn u benjo i m eating right now

i will go on a diet....................someday
focus focus
i know i can do this!!
yes i can....................
someday~~

dirty money is poisonouss!!!

aku nampak muda rupanyehhh..haha

today is my youngest sister's registration day at UKM
can't believe how fast time flies...
she's already entering the University life..my lil kiddo boochan~~
*though with lack of enthusiasimn..haha*

and mama was saying the other day
by the time she graduates i ll be 29..mama why o why la you have to remind me?????

but how come everyone thinks alia & I are twins registering at UKM today..bwahahhahaa
and the 1st years & facillitators are actually making friendly conversations with us instead of boochan~~
i think lagi plek laa for alia since she is a senior at UKM..hahaha

ok.ok.better stop before some people gets jealous with my youthfullness..bwahhahhaha

weekends is toooo shortttt
i miss my family d now that i m back in Melaka

to that you..
thanx for giving me a ride in your BMW^^

to boochan if you are reading this...be safe k & stay genki~
gonna miss u *hugs*

to alia..take care of everyone at home esp mama since i m sure she'll have withdrawal syndromes for boochan~~

and lastly to them..CONGRATSS!!

never ending cases (T-T)

cases o cases..

when la will i ever finish it..adeh

dah la gonna meet up with my family later~~

and i still have time to blog..bwahahahhaha

cant help it laaa..

not that i've put Stand by U PV on repeat since yesterday staring at jaejoong over my work every now and than..huhuh

and my fav parts areeeeeeee....

p/s :- dearest jae i believe it too..yakusoku<3

me gedixxx...no wayyy..hahah

F thinks i m ovulating...
*i m NOT k!!*

cause i was fangirling over the nice MO of the ward i m in..whom i didn't see for 3 days ehh wait 5 days plus last weekends..bwahahahha

alaaa...just cause i only fangirl jaejoong this days..doesn't mean i don't have normal crush ..bwahahaha

i m soooo gonna miss that nice MOmedicine posting ^^

cases...hwaitinggg!!!

LOL

XD XD

work & play~

TRANSFORMERS II REVENGE OF THE FALLEN

AWESOME!!

no spoilers from me

too many pending works..adeh.adeh~~

p/s:-to u i was kinda mad at today..i m sorry

small world~

caution:- depressed mode~

i have no idea why i m even writing this @=@
so please feel free to skip
p/s nothing about the org minyak k..haha

i got my wish alright...
though not in the way i hoped it turned out to be~
My friends are actually starting their housemanship in the hospitals i m posted at..
yeay..i should think to myself
but noooooooo...of course it's never that way for me..
in fact it brought back not so fond memories

these friends are classmates when i was in Penang Matricualtion
and my class is not just any class laa since we have streaming system
H4p1 has students mostly of elite or nearly elite schools with good SPM results
and boasts of all the students having 4.0 in the 1st semester
the skema class..that was how i put it to my physical class friends..LOL

while my classmates go to the library to study and of course do some ehem extracuricular activities
i would be in my room happily dozing off or laughing it all out with my crazy roomates *adeh i miss them alredi*

while they sit at front rows in the lecture hall
i would be somewhere behind doodling my paper

while they would without fail do their tutorials each week
i would without fail copy my mrsm classmate aka my bestpal aka my matrix classmate aka lab partner also without fail..hahah *i know we came loooongg way back together..but i thank God i have her with me in my class..huhu*

while they have a million questions in their head to ask lecturers
i would stay quiet in class..rather minding my own business

while they would diligently go to class
i cut as many as i wanted..plus i was invisible remember~

my mentor loves them
me...invisible as usual..haha

so getting the same result as them
and of course getting a chance for the interview
some didn't think it's fair for a slob like me
in fact my mentor was also shocked or rather just noticed me
at one time i felt depressed because of it
cause i have prominent flaws compared to them~~

don't get me wrong
they are really nice people
i just...don't feel belong in that class??
in fact i hardly join any class activities..
i prefer joining my roomates class
i dunno laaa..

and today..
they actually recognize me when they saw me in the wards
i was..err blur?
see they are nice people who remembers their friends
even if that person is a lazy asocial slob who used to not wear glasses

i m happy with my class right now*not all but still mostly la*
cool friends and all
but why do i feel inadequate again after meeting them puzzles me
maybe cause they are already starting their careers
and i can totally see the semangat kira kira ness in them
as for me
i m stuck in this hell hole college with their stupid programs i don't even know how to explain to others about it...*WTH senior clerkship???* wondering if i m even gonna pass my final MBBS with the amout of rust in my brain~~
plus...where the hell is my semangat kira kira ness???

aaa..that is probably the inadequacy............

delusionally in love!!!

^________________________^

this is my silly BIG GRIN watching Mirotic tour

i finally found the cut version of my favourite part in DBSK 3rd asian Mirotic tour
thanx a lot to the wonderful people who uploaded it^^


once again
jae never fails to make me fall in love with him
again & again..kyaaa~~
can't wait to go to their seoul concert..huhu

no more boss^^

as of this second...

I M NO LONGER GROUP LEADER!!!!

*throws confetties*

no more being the responsible one*woot woot*
no more proxy-ing people who don't deserve it
no more facing people's crap wait.wait that might just still be the same
no more feeling guilty lying to doctors/lecturers *maybe just a bit..won't hurt*
no more calling lecturers on the phone
no more high phone bills*at least lower laa..huhu*
no more planning schedule for the group
no more answering sometimes kinda stupid questions
no more pretending & being hypocrite *though it's an essential skill to survive*
no more being blamed all the time

no way i m gonna miss all this!!!

I M FREAKING LOVING IT TO BE FREE!!!

i m back to my simple invisible lifestyle^^

although the next few postings are really frightening..gyaaa
time to get serious people..huhu
but right now i ll recuperate first~~

have a great weekend people^^V

sape termakan cili dia la terasa..

my groupmates and i have been together for almost 5 years now
so being together for that looonnggg duration
of course sometimes cakap pon cm mulut xde saman..oo well besa la tuh rite~~
it happened that one day i was teasing one of my groupmates about his attendance
and all of a sudden....
a small voice said "hey that's mean!!"

hey sape termakan cili dia la rasa pedas..ada paham kaa???

i m really trying my best to be nice to everyone
but everyone has a limit..
so please don't push it..i wish i could say this~

and being the most responsible one
is never my best trait
nor am i the best liar or suave
i can't even save my own a** even if life depended on it
much less other people...huhu

and God..guilty conscious is really bugging me right now..but so is the lazy bug..damn~~

i have to go to bed early again today
another unfinished chapter of my daily studies
another long day in Muar..oo yippie~

sleeping is the best medicine

It was raining just now

perfect for sleeping~~

nuff said..

I LOVE SLEEPING!!!